While it doesn’t seem that long ago that I first took part in the newborn rodeo, I’m realizing as of late that I’ve forgotten most of what that time was like. Blame it on the lack of sleep, the mind-melting painkillers, or the hormonal roller coaster of the whole time period, but I just can’t seem to remember details about life with a newborn. And yeah, I’m scared.
It seems daily I have thoughts like “Oh yeah, we used to swaddle him up for bedtime,” or “That’s right, newborns can sleep in the cart while shopping.” How, after not even a year, does my mind block out things like that? While I’m not certain, I’m guessing it just has to do with the rapid progression Collin has made from being a newborn lump to being a real live person with thoughts and emotions and preferences (See a previous post of mine if you missed that update).
Mostly, though, I’m nervous about managing two little ones around the house once my help has run out. When my S/O went back to work after Collin was born, I was petrified. Little ol’ me being solely in charge of an itty bitty life just seemed too overwhelming a task. But we got to know each other, and we survived. I know it will be fine this time around, too, but my mind keeps turning with all the possible things that could go awry.
- What if I can’t ever get them to sleep at the same time during the day?
- How will I ever keep up with housework?
- Will I ever get any sleep?
- How will Collin react to not having my full attention while I’m home?
- More importantly, what kind of trouble will he get himself into?
There are obviously many more, but those are a few of the questions I battle daily. If any parents out there have been there and survived, please leave me a comment— I’d love to hear from you!
For those of you who are kind enough to open your homes (and hearts) to children in need, I think of you with the utmost respect. Raising my own children is proving to be difficult enough, but raising someone else’s seems like a very challenging (albeit rewarding) ordeal. Foster parent forum is a site where foster parents can participate in conversations with those in similar situations, seek advice on difficult circumstances, share moments of joy and more.