Frustration…

After a brief checkup today, I’m frustrated. Not only does my body once again not realize a baby is supposed to be birthed from it, the baby (like his older brother) also doesn’t realize he is supposed to be born soon.

For the past week or so I’ve been feeling fairly consistent pressure on my pelvic bone, giving me the hope that maybe, just maybe, we’d figure it out this time and be able to have a normal birth, but my hope for that is waning more and more each week. My doc checked me over and so far, I’m making no progress toward labor.

On the bright side, I’m only 36 weeks along so we’ve still got time to figure things out, it’s just an endless battle of frustration to know that (for the time being, anyway) my body isn’t capable of handling children the way normal women do. I felt like a cheater for having Collin extracted from me. Skipping the pain, the sacrifice, the effort. I laid strapped to a table and he was plucked out while I tried not to throw up from my blood pressure dipping. Hardly what I had envisioned when I thought about having children.

Don’t get me wrong, the C/S wasn’t easy. Once the feeling came back into the lower half of my body I was using my pain med pump and popping percocet as often as they’d let me, trying to kill the unbearable ache I felt. Almost worse than that were the withdrawals that came from the percocet as I weaned myself off of the pills at home. Not the best couple weeks of my life, but I survived.

Ultrasound next week, should know more at that point since we’ll be able to gauge (read: guess) the baby’s size a little easier. I’m still crossing my fingers for a normal delivery, but having some sort of plan in place should settle me down a bit. Look for an important update next Wednesday afternoon!

Today’s link:
The link for the day has absolutely nothing to do with kids! Call me a dork, but I completely love the fuzzy winter hoodies from Happy Hoodie Friends. They’re cute, they’re snuggly, they’re colorful, and they’re unique. If my cash didn’t go to diapers, I’d own one for the winter!

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